A Sentimental Old Fool

Well, I got what I wished for – a one-way trip to Colorado.

Little did I realize how hard it would be. As I sit here in a quiet house with the kids in bed, I look around and realize that this is the last night I will spend here. Shari and I built this house 10 years ago. Both our kids were born right here in this house.

On Sunday I said goodbye to my friends at Crossroads. It was my last regular visit. And though I’ll probably someday take a sentimental journey back, it will never be the same. It felt like I was leaving home… and I was.

Tomorrow I will say goodbye to the guys I have worked with at Math Reviews for the last 12 years. They’re more than just co-workers. They’re friends. They’re friends who would give you the shirt off their back if you needed it. Heck, my manager even loaned me his car when mine broke down. I’ll be camping with one of them Thursday and Friday before I embark on my journey. Because they are co-workers I took their friendship for granted and only now realize what I’m leaving behind.

I remember when my grandmother died. I watched my grandfather say goodbye to her in the casket. He leaned over and gave her one last gentle kiss before the casket closed. To this day I tear up whenever I remember that moment.

Life is full of both greetings and departures. Some are temporary and some are permanent. Some of them feel as though a part of you has been yanked out and left behind.

Lord, heal my heart.

Gluttony

In preparing for our move westward, I have come to the realization that there is more than one way to be a glutton. Gluttony generally applies to food and diet, but it could just as well apply to “Stuff” in general.

Gluttony is one of the seven deadly sins. The seven deadly sins are “Great offenses against God, or moral faults which, if habitual, could result in the spiritual death of the individual.” (from A Dictionary of Orthodox Terminology). Gluttony is described in Dante’s Divine Comedy:

Dante and Virgil pass on to Circle Three to view the punishment of the gluttonous. They see all around them what resembles a disgusting garbage heap. And thus the symbolic punishment is once again revealed — as these sinners “pigged out” in life, now they must live in a heap of swinish garbage as their eternal punishment. To make matters even worse, they are guarded by the violent and powerful three-headed dog Cerberus. If the sinner attempts to move away from the filth, Cereberus appears to cover the sinner over with hellish-three-headed dog-slobber! Dante and Virgil then move toward the next Circle and view the monster Plutus. – from Teachersfirst.com

From the looks of the dumpster in my driveway, I am guilty of gluttony. But I don’t think I am alone and I don’t think this is abnormal in America. The word consume as in consumer describes the act involved in gluttony. Our society is likely the most consumption driven society to ever exist in human history.

I consider myself conservative in every sense of the word. This is one aspect of conservatism I have failed in.

Lord, have mercy on me, a sinner.

Leaving Crossroads

Yesterday I announced that we’re moving to Colorado. While this is a big change in my job and locality and such, perhaps the biggest change for us will be leaving Crossroads.

My family has been a part of Crossroads now for about 7 years. I have put countless volunteer hours into Crossroads and Shari has put even more of herself into Crossroads than I. We have many great friends at Crossroads that we will greatly miss. Crossroads is not perfect, but no church is and that imperfection does not change our heart for Crossroads.

The great reality of this is that Crossroads is part of a bigger picture. It is not an isolated island in a sea of isolated islands. It is a member of the universal body of Christ. No matter where we go, while we will miss seeing these friends in person, we will continue to be a part of that same body. We are not leaving our fellow members, we are simply connecting more directly with new ones.

When modernists deny… a supernatural connectedness of all believers by the mystical union of the Holy Spirit, they destroy the historic, orthodox Christian understanding of the Church … The Church becomes a society, a natural, human, non-supernatural religious community. It is bound together by purely natural ties, such as a common heritage in the Bible, a common belief in some sort of uniqueness in Jesus, a common belief in the historical continuity of Christians, and a common ethic of love. Now the church is a society. But this is secondary to its being the supernatural body of Christ. – Dr. Bernard Ramm (quoted from Ray Stedmann’s Body Life)

My last advice for those who will carry on the torch at Crossroads (and to myself, for these are also weaknesses I have) is this:

Understand your limitations and don’t try to do too much. Trust others to help. Just because something isn’t perfect doesn’t mean it isn’t worth doing. Don’t cover up your weaknesses and mistakes. Instead allow God to work through those weaknesses. Sometimes it is best to choose authenticity over excellence. God’s strength is made perfect in weakness.

Communicate openly. Transparency is often better than polished opacity.

And this especially fits me: Don’t think too highly of yourself. God will build his kingdom at his pace regardless of your successes or failures. The best laid plans of mice and men…

Westward Bound

I have accepted a web developer position with the Rocky Mountain News in Denver, Colorado. I begin work there on September 2. I am anxious to get started there and look forward to new and exciting challenges.

I have enjoyed my time at Math Reviews and will miss all my friends there. It has been a good place to spend the last 12 years.

…But I am also excited to be moving to Colorado. My family and I have vacationed many times there and often wish we could stay. Shari and I have talked about such a move since before we were married and it has finally come to pass.

Now, if anyone is interested in living near a lake in Onsted, Michigan, you can call that number on the sign!